They call this place the desert. Strangely, I have heard few people refer to it as Iraq. "The desert" as they call it is hitting temperatures of nearly 110 degrees on a daily basis and they say it will get up to nearly 140 before its over with. People from almost every culture in the world have gotten involved with this war. I have met soldiers from Australia, all parts of Southern Africa, Britain, almost every state in America and the list goes on and on. We have definately made a foot print here. I was riding down the road the other day and I came up over a hill and there before me was a jet flipped upside down on the side of the road. Scenes like this are all over the place. Earlier in the week I saw the nose of another jet sticking up out of the desert the rest of its body had been swallowed up by the desert sands. I have been told they are part of the Hussein arsenal left over from the war. Another time when I was once again traveling I saw in the distance seven or eight jets sitting in the middle of the desert almost as prestine as the day they came out of the factory except for the rust that covered the sides from years of just sitting. These aircraft probably cost 100 million dollars and were never used for anything, but as a historical relic of days long gone.
Throughout the day I hear the chopping sounds of helicopters flying over head. Back and forth throughout the day and night. They fly so low the buildings shake. In the distance can be heard the occasional explosion out in town or the tat tat tat of rapid gunfire. Everybody here is always on alert, waiting for the unknown, wondering what will happen from one day to the next. When the sand storms hit we have to cover our faces with desert scarfs and goggles just to keep the sand out of our eyes. Sometimes the sand gets so thick that you can barely see five feet in front of you. When I wake up after a stormy night I find that my quarters have changed to a light gray color because everything is covered in sand and dust. We get our news from the "Stars and Stripes" newspaper. It seems to be covering the latest news pretty well. It is a best selling newspaper out here, especially since it is free.
There is activity everywhere here. Everybody, especially the Marines seem to always be on the move. The Marine is a formidable character to be reckoned with out here. I was sitting at the dinner table with a friend the other day. He told me that if he were the enemy he would be terrified if he had to fight the Marines. The Marines here, many of them on their second and third tour in the desert, are sages of the battle field. They know the enemy and they know how to fight him. The Marines here have seen a lot. Some of them wear bracelets as rememberence to their fallen friends in combat. I was talking to one of these Marines the other day. He was tall, muscular, and had the face of a hardened soldier. His voice was that of an older man, like that of a coach that could bark orders at his team with a booming voice. When I asked him about home he got a big smile on his face. Home usually brings a smile to everybody's face and the hope that they will return there soon. He was a corporal which means he is a leader of several other marines and I could tell by the arsenal he carried on his person that he was no stranger to combat. What was really shocking to me was that he was only about 21years old. At 21 he had seen more than most men see in a life time.
In the midst of all this I have been praying that God would show me how I could reach these young men for Christ. I have been on my knees a lot lately. I was reading recently in Henry Blackaby's Experiencing God devotional that sometimes God tries to teach us something that we are not expecting. This helped me to see that although it is my hope to see many of these young men and women out here come to know the Lord Jesus Christ, it may not be God's purpose for me right now to see a great harvest. He may have me here to teach me something specific and allow the harvest at another time. When the convoys go out they ask me to pray for them before they leave so that they can have God's protection. Lord, I thank you for your protection of our soldiers. At the same time Lord, I pray for their salvation. Only time will tell. Praise God!

What an extraordinarily resilient spirit Americans have! Being in the military has renewed my faith in the country that I call home and its people. It is unfortunate that the pessimist and the haters of our democracy seem to be the only group that much of our media gives its attention to. If it were up to me every capable American would spend time in the military. In the evening, when I stand at attention during the playing of colors, I think of the many thousands who have, during our history, sacrificed so much for our freedom. General Douglas MacArthur, one of the greatest generals our country ever produced looked out over the student body of West Point on May 12th, 1962. He was in his last years. He had seen a multitude of battlefields where young men lost their lives defending our land against what many thought an unstoppable enemy. He spoke these powerful words which define the character and rugged toughness of our young people who give in to the call of military service:
“From one end of the world to the other, he has drained deep the chalice of courage. As I listened to those songs of the glee club, in memory's eye I could see those staggering columns of the First World War, bending under soggy packs on many a weary march, from dripping dusk to drizzling dawn, slogging ankle deep through mire of shell-pocked roads; to form grimly for the attack, blue-lipped, covered with sludge and mud, chilled by the wind and rain, driving home to their objective, and for many, to the judgment seat of God. I do not know the dignity of their birth, but I do know the glory of their death. They died unquestioning, uncomplaining, with faith in their hearts, and on their lips the hope that we would go on to victory. Always for them: Duty, Honor, Country. Always their blood, and sweat, and tears, as they saw the way and the light.”
Will I have courage in the heat of battle? This is a question every soldier asks themselves. Today a young officer came to me and he said, Chaps, sometimes I wonder if I will be able to lead my men when that day comes. When I am facing the enemy and my men are looking to me for direction to get them through the attack alive. I could only tell him that when that day comes he will know what to do. This young man is already an example to the other officers in our battalion. He is already leading. He is already a man of character and conviction. These traits will be his source of courage when the day comes that he is called upon to take his men into harm’s way.
One day while I was sitting in the Officer’s chow hall which is called the Ward Room, I saw something on t.v. that caught my attention. They were celebrating the anniversary of The Battle of the Bulge. This was not a movie or a scene that was put together for t.v. It was real footage from the front during this historic battle between the American forces and the Germans. Young men by the thousands were running in this open, frozen field. The snow looked like it was ankle deep and they were running at a fast sprint. Bombs were exploding all around them and bullets filled the air like gnats, but on they went, knowing that at any minute they might die. American tanks were pushing forward in the vast field, rolling face to face against the German onslaught. Then I saw a close up of one of the soldier’s faces. His neck was wrapped with a wool scarf. His eyes were black and his lips quivered from the extreme cold. His face was scruffy with a beard and he was dirty, mud splattered all across his uniform. What was even more surprising: he did not look more than 18 years of age.
Why did he fight like so many thousands of others on the battle-fields of World War II? He fought because he loved his country and he believed in what America stood for. He believed in it so much that he was willing to give his life for it. Freedom and Democracy comes at a price.
I want to dedicate this blog to all who serve. I appreciate their sacrifice. There are those who give the ultimate sacrifice and I commend their legacy. I thank them and those who are still serving for my freedom. I thank them for keeping my family safe from tyranny and the slavery my family would face if those in the military did not fight. Today, when you see a soldier or a sailor walking down the street, take the time to thank him or her for their service. They deserve it.

I was watching an old movie not long ago about a famous adventurer. Just before the credits started rolling a caption appeared that said the man had died in 1953. As I sat there it really struck me how many people live on this earth and then simply without much warning, die. As a child there was a grave site near my house and I would walk through and read the grave stones. It was interesting how you can really learn the history of a community by reading the grave stones. They would say things like so and so died in World War I, having not yet lived the full potential of his life or so and so died, missionary to India for twenty five years and loving father of four. Thinking of these things after I had watched the movie, I posed a question to myself. If somebody in seventy five years was watching a movie about my life what would they say? Would they say, wow, that guy sure watched a lot of movies? Or would they say that guy lived his life to the fullest for God? I hope the latter would be true.
At this point in my life I have been asking a lot of different questions. Will my kids live their lives for the Lord? Will I be able to support my wife when we are old and grey? Is God going to bless Stacey and I with long lives or will one of us go home early? Will we ever return to the foreign mission field? Will my children turn out okay or am I causing them to go astray because they have a father who is gone a lot because of work? Questions, Questions, constantly on my mind, always appearing unexpectedly during times of silence. Who am I? Who is Mark Conard? Who am I becoming? Lord, I know You say to trust You, but it is so difficult. I can’t see You. I can’t touch You. I can’t hear You speaking back to me when I pray. It is so hard to understand You at times. Your way of communication is very frustrating to me. It is my aspiration to become more like You, Jesus, but when I think I am arriving I find I am worlds away from even understanding who You are. Right when I think I have a finger on it, You turn another page in my life and reveal something else to me that blows me away and then I have to start anew in my understanding.
I have learned that what I thought was the right of every human being is not necessarily the right of every Christian. Human beings, especially Americans would say it is my right to seek happiness, to want to be happy. That is not God’sunderstanding of our rights. God greatest desire for us is not necessarily for us to be happy. That is a strange statement isn’t it. What a mean thing to say. Mark, how could you possibly believe such a terrible thing about God? When I start getting comfy, God moves me. When we lust for happiness and give in to the temptations of this world to be happy, God takes a back seat in our lives. God does not want to take a backseat for anything. If there is one theme I see throughout the Bible it is suffering. Jesus didn’t tell his disciples to go and preach to all the world and tell them how to be happy. He knew that the Romans were not going to sit by and let Christianity take over the empire. They were going to kill these guys and anybody else who started preaching Jesus’ message.
I’m am about to say something that will surprise you even more. I have read article after article about how the numbers in churches all across the U.S. are going down. I think people have stopped coming to church because we have stopped telling them the truth. We have told them how to be happy. We have told them how be successful. We have told them how to make good decisions. Unfortunately, we have not told them that God wants them to suffer and go through the gauntlet of hardship in His name. Who do we think we are, filling our churches up with people who are asking what Jesus can do for them when the real question they should be asking is what can we do for Jesus? Who are we who strive for something as mediocre as happiness while millions around the world are begging for the bread of Christ?
I was reading an article in Newsweek the other day about the actress Angelina Jolie. This woman is doing a lot of work for the people of Sudan. She is going to these places and doing charity work among the starving and dying of that country. I think Jolie has made the discovery that life is not about her, but about those outside of her world, about the suffering that go without everyday. I believe she has tasted of what true fulfillment really involves, namely helping those who can’t help themselves. My only wish is that this young woman would come to Christ and understand how all this plays out in eternity. Maybe somewhere along her journey she will meet Christ and fellowship with Him.
So what is the answer? What does God want for us? I believe what God wants for us is found in the simple word, contentment. God wants us to be content in Him and in whatever He asks us to do and wherever He asks us to do it. Things do not bring contentment. Those who worship wealth will never make enough. The poor who worship possessions will never have enough. Why is it so hard to comprehend this principle? The answer lies in our wants. We want the things that our culture says is good to have. We want things we can see, touch, feel, brag about, enjoy, make us comfortable, make us look good, etc. Things that give us contentment are not seen, they are the things of the conscience and of the heart. They involve our character and our priorities.

Contentment is what we should strive for to be fulfilled. In the end it will be who we are and how we arrived that will matter, not what we possessed. The we will be able to say with the Apostle Paul “I have learned to be content …with a lot or with a little” (Phil.4:12). But to get to that place of “learning” it won’t be a comfortable ride. It will be through the crucible of suffering and hardship, where we (like Paul) share in those experiences with Christ. Happiness is a fleeting feeling that comes and goes depending on circumstance. But real contentment is a state of mind and heart. It transcends what goes on around us, where we find ourselves, or the multitude (or lack of) material possessions that fill our homes.

So back again to the movie about my life….I hope the title will be “Mark Conard: A Man Who Learned Contentment In All Things”.

Life is a strange place to be for me. It seems like God constantly has my family and I in travel mode. “Look far young man, look to the rising sun and over the hills, that is where I have called you my son,” I hear God saying. There is no settling down in God’s plan as far as my life is concerned. I once told a friend that sometimes I wish I could go and buy a farm house in the country and live happily ever after, but that is not what God’s plan is at this season of my life. That poem comes to mind by Robert Frost, The Road Less Traveled. The last stanza of that poem says, “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.” Wow, isn’t that the truth! When I was a missionary in Africa I for a time felt so at home and so settled. The feeling of being settled made me nervous and I knew there was something coming. I remember the day when I knew God was beckoning me once again to get ready for something. At the time I had no idea what it was, but I knew something was coming. I was driving down a sandy road toward one of our churches out in the bush. It was a very lonely place where nobody lived. I stopped my truck and I sat there experiencing God’s presence that had just descended upon me from nowhere. I got out of the truck and got on my knees right there on the road and began praying. I told the Lord in so many words that wherever He called me I would go. It was tough to do that because I was so settled and happy in my house in Kaoma. That accursed word, settled, holds a meaning that cannot be part of the vocabulary of the servant of God.
I don’t think it is in God’s plan for his children to be settled. I have been looking through my Bible and I have not found one place where God called His servants to be settled. Lord knows, the Israelites were never settled. The disciples were not settled, probably because they were always on the run from the law of the time or Loaw as my daddy would say it. The story of the Israelites wilderness wanderings is interestingly connected to God’s idea of being always mobile when called upon. These chosen people of God, these children of the Most High God. Have you ever wandered through the woods? I remember as a child meandering through the forests that surrounded the farm where I grew up. “The woods”as we called them. My brothers and I loved the woods. Why? Because they were mysterious. They were full of new discoveries for us boys. Our imaginations would come alive in the woods. We would find where bears had lumbered down a path. Sometimes we would find old tools and arrowheads from the Native American Indians of old. I remember once we found a dead deer in the woods and it was so amazing to me. I believe it was just an old deer that had tread its last mile and decided to give up in our woods. We were amazed and afraid. It made us ask the question about why such beautiful creatures have to die. It tested our innocence as we looked into the profound mystery of life and death.
I think that God wants us to be wanderers, in a sense. I believe He wants us to make new discoveries as we wander through the wilderness of life. Not aimlessly, but with anticipation of something new and wonderful…new discoveries about Him and who He is and the plan He has for us. The wilderness of this life has secrets yet to be revealed to us. Secrets God wants us to discover, secrets that will ever remain hidden as long as we are happy with being settled. I once had a conversation with someone concerning their search to see God work through miracles and mighty acts. I believe this Christian had the right desire. Everyone should want to see the power of God. I believe one must GO to see such things. They must be willing to wander where God takes them, wherever that may be.
I was talking with a group of people and the question was asked “What is one of the greatest issues facing the church today? “. The answer according to one individual was Calvinism. No, I don’t think the greatest issue facing the church is Calvinism. I think it is courage. Being settled takes no courage. Being settled takes no testing. Being settled is the easy way. But I dare to argue that being settled is not God’s way. Unfortunately, to wander takes courage. The courage to step out in faith and walk into the darkness, where there is no lantern to show the way. Wandering means to trust God to lead you through the mysterious wilderness. Even there one will doubt his way and become afraid, but it will be his courage to trust God that will keep him moving. The Israelites faced this. They had security in Egypt, but after they left and the Egyptians started pursuing them they became afraid. “As Pharaoh drew near, the sons of Israel looked, and behold, the Egyptians were marching after them, and they became very frightened; So the sons of Israel cried out to the Lord…” They were terrified. Yet, in the end they saw God do something amazing, He parted the Red Sea and they were brought to safety. They would never have seen God do such amazing things if they stayed settled in Egypt.
Christian, are you settled? Do not worry, many are settled. I know servants of God who are settled. Not willing to move because they are afraid to take that step of faith, afraid of wandering through the wilderness because it seems too dark and unfamiliar. That doesn’t have to be you. Talk with the Lord and tell Him you are willing to go anywhere if He tells you to go, even if you don’t know what lies at the end. Tell Him and trust Him and you will experience God in all His faithfullness.

As a Chaplain I counsel a lot of people on a daily basis. Unfortunately, most people do not come to the Chaplain to say how great their lives are going. I become more convinced everyday of the world's need for a savior because I see so many people that have lost their way and have no hope every day. I was watching the movie Superman last night and he said something to a newspaper reporter that really touched me, "You wrote that the world does not need a savior. But everyday I hear them(the world)crying for one." Wow, isn't that the truth. The world is crying for a savior and we the Saints of God are like Superman trying to come to their aide with the Good news of the Gospel. Jesus Christ is the only savior for the world. Most people know they have a need, but they don't know how to fill that need. Yet, even when we try to give them the answer they many times struggle seeing it. Why is the world so blind. More heartbreaking is why is the church so blind to think they can sit back and fill no responsibility for the souls of men.
Everyday in my job I have a challenge to overcome. No day is the same. No problem is the same. There are problems I have no idea how to solve, but I am expected to advise and to help somehow even if they have no interest in spiritual things. The military asks me to make decisions to influence the lives of people. Sometimes my bosses do not agree with those decisions yet I still have to take a stand with high ranking officers for the good of the troop. This is a stressful job for sure and yet it has caused me to rely on God more than ever before. Isn't it amazing how God takes us through different phases in life to teach us and grow us.

Here I am still in Okinawa. Still pining away at my work. Still trying not to think too much of home. Still trying to keep the pain of being seperated from my wife and children at bay. I have traveled far in this journey that God has taken me throughout my life. I was talking to a fellow officer the other day and I told him that I dream of a simple life. I dream of a day when I can have a house in the country and live happily ever after. Unfortunately, I am afraid God has another plan. Living for God is all about fear and overcoming it. Every step one takes in God's will must contain fear at some point or I would question whether it is truly God's will. So often Christians look for God in their comfort zone, they will even try to create some theatrical event and say that God is part of it. but in reality He was never there in the first place. If one truly wants to find where God is working they must go where people are hurting. We live in a world where people experience so much pain that they become numb to it. We can see the signs in our society. To name a few, divorce, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, wayward children, war, famine, and the list goes on and on. It is the Gospel of Jesus Christ that not only reveals to people that they are seperated from God, but that they are in a constant state of misery without Christ. So many times I hear Christians say that it is not their gift to share the Gospel. In battle a soldier does not have the option of saying it is not my gift to fight. Remember the words of Paul to his young apprentice Timothy, "Suffer hardship with me as a good soldier of Christ Jesus." This is my banner and I will march toward victory because there is no defeating my God, my eternal King, my Salvation. How far have I come on this journey. I am at the beginning. I have been a Christian for nearly twenty years now. One might ask, "If you have been a Christian for twenty years then you must be pretty far in your journey." This life is only the beginning of the journey with God. We have an eternity yet to travel with Him. This life is only a grain of sand on the seashore. Oh my Lord, use me, mold me, grow me into a person that is forged into your perfect will. Oh God, mold my wife and children into servants of God that are part of your perfect will in the world and in eternity. Let our family behold Your Glory and Your Power and allow us to see Your extraordinary hand move upon this world and in the hearts of its many peoples.
Doing the will of God is so difficult. My family and I used to be missionaries in Zambia. We loved it. We still miss it terribly. We knew however, that the Lord was telling us clearly it was time to leave. We had been there several years and He wanted us elsewhere. Going to Zambia was a painful experiece. Probably one of the hardest things we ever had to do at the time. After all the hardships we experienced, we grew to love Zambia and the people we were ministering to. We saw starvation, death, misery, injustice, on a regular basis while we were there, but yet in the midst of all the suffering we experienced God's presence in a very real and profound way. Yes, we saw miracles happen. We saw supernatural acts by the hand of God. All this was wonderful, but these things were simply a part of being where God was at work. God loves His children and is more than happy to show us things if we are willing to take the chance by faith and seek Him out in those places. The main reason He took us to Zambia was to change us. He used us while we were there, but he also changed us forever because a part of Him was revealed to us that we would never have known if we had not went by faith to Zambia. Now, He has us in a new place and He has us here to show us something. How long we are at this place I do not know, but He will reveal that to us in time. In the mean time we have to trust Him and allow Him to use us as He sees fit. For the time being we are sad because we miss our last home. We feel as Moses did, "like strangers in a foreign land." We are not surrounded by Christians, but God never intended us to be in a bubble. He never wanted us to be seperated from the world. How will we ever win the world for Christ if we observe them from a distance. He wants us to be relevant in this world and standing for Christ in the darkness. Lord Jesus help us to stand when the way gets weary. Help us to keep fighting even when the battle seems lost. Amen.

It has been an eventful year for me. I have gone from living in a remote area of Africa as a missionary to being in the Navy as a Chaplain. I am now living in Japan for the next six months which means I had to leave my family in Ventura, California. God works in mysterious ways indeed. Most of the time I don't really know what God's plan is in all this. I sometimes see what his plan was in hindsight. Essentially, I know I am here to be a witness to a lost world and wherever it is He puts me I am called to spread the Gospel of Jesus Christ. While writing this blog the words of the Apostle Paul came to mind, "For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a slave to all, so that I may win more. To the Jews I became a Jew, so that I might win Jews; to those who are under the law, as under the law though not being myself under the law, so that I might win those who are under the law; to those who are without law, as without law, though not being without the law of God but under the law of Christ, so that I might win those who are without law. To the weak I became weak, that I might win the weak; I have become all things to all men, so that I may by all means save some. I do all things for the sake of the Gospel, so that I may become a fellow partaker of it."(1 Corinthians 10:19-23) I know that I do not live up to these words as I should, but I can sure give it a good try. Paul is no doubt a man of men that I really admire. In the Navy I am able to freely share the Gospel as a Chaplain without any problems. I have a Baptist service every Sunday night and a Bible study every Thursday night. What a great country we live in that allows freedom of religion.
It was a real encouragement to me the other day when a young troop came into my office and said that he felt God had brought him on this deployment to bring him closer to Himself. This young man has been coming to both my Sunday night service and my Thursday night Bible Study. I believe that if this is the only young man I impact for Christ this whole deployment it will be well worth it. I used to look at numbers when I was younger. I was on staff at small churches as well as a 2500 member church before I went to the mission field in Zambia for nearly six years. I have taught the Bible to the very educated of society as well as to the tribal groups of the third world. I have come to a conclusion from these experiences. It certainly should have been obvious seeing as how Jesus focused on twelve disciples that would later take His message to the world. Numbers are not part of God's design. His design involves individuals reaching other individuals through the process of multiplication. The design the church seems to be focused on today involves human robots sitting in the audiences numbering in the thousands in mega-churches that have no intention whatsoever of going out and reaching someone else with what they are learning. What a shame, they are really missing out on being a part of God's plan for our world.
I talk to my wife every night through Skype. What a wonderful piece of technology. I can see her as well as talk to her as long as I want for free. I wish I could be at home with her and the children. I am concerned about my son Ben. He does not seem himself since his daddy left. I wish I could have a moment where I could give him a big hug and wrestle with him which is our daily ritual after I get off work. It rains a lot here in the Japanese Islands. I wish the sun would come out. No sun makes life pretty depressing at times. The other night at church I preached about John, one of the disciples of Jesus. He was exiled to the island of Patmos to work in a quarry by a Roman emporer for preaching about Jesus. It was no doubt a lonely isolated place. However, it was during this time that God saw fit to give John a vision which inspired the book of Revelation. It is my goal while I am on this Island to really grow closer in my relationship with God. Lord, you are worthy of glory and honor. It is you who deserves all praise and worship OH King of Glory. Let your light shine through me and give me the boldness to proclaim your name to the multitudes. In your holy name I pray. Amen.